A Travesty

Baskin Robbins and I go way back. When I was just a wee lad in St. Joseph, MO, my family would go to the Baskin Robbins on Frederick Blvd. After Little League games, after church, or on a hot summer night, Baskin Robbins was the perfect treat.

My favorite flavor was Daiquiri Ice. From day one, this pale blue sherbet concoction was what I ordered. While my sister went with the Mint Chocolate Chip, I stayed with the Daiquiri Ice. Through my adulthood, I never wavered from the D.I.

Sometimes it was difficult to find. Baskin Robbins would put my flavor on hiatus, calling it a "seasonal flavor." Whatever. It would soon enough creep back into the 31 flavor rotation.

That is until tonight. My wife wants a little yogurt. She is a Golden Spoon junkie (and five months pregnant). They are having their annual $3.99 quart sale. So, for the second time in three nights, I head over to the Golden Spoon.

A tasty treat, no doubt

After picking up the quart of 1/3 Chocolate, 1/3 Peanut Butter, and 1/3 Heath Bar, I decided to make my own dessert stop. The pit stop is made at the RSM Baskin Robbins (it's totally empty, save the one employee talking on the phone). I ask, "Do you have Daiquiri Ice?"

"Yes," the guy replied.

"Sweet sauce. I need a quart." If April is getting a quart of yogurt, then I am getting a quart of the best ice cream on the planet, dammit. He puts it into the carton, and I am off.

I get home. I do the ice cream dance for Caden. He is now excited for some ice cream. There is no apparent problem with the fact that it is the middle of December and it is raining out. We start the "Cream! Cream! Cream!" chant. All is right with the world.

Now here is where The Travesty part of the story kicks in. I take the first bite of my Daiquiri Ice. It is wrong. It is not the right flavor. It tastes almost soapy to me. Something is amiss. I look at the color. It is a pale green. It is not a pale blue. I hear Leo Getz in my head.

You know what they do at the drive-thru

I have lime sherbet. The Baskin Robbins guy is wicked retarded. I specifically asked for Daiquiri Ice. He gave me lime sherbet. I debate. It is only a five minute drive back to the store. I get in the car (but before I left, I scooped a smidge more for Cade. He apparently likes Lime Sherbet).

I return. Same empty store. Same guy on the phone. I say, "You gave me Lime Sherbet."

He replies, "Yes. Lime Daiquiri Ice."

It is then I realize the apocalypse is upon us. Baskin Robbins has changed the one holy thing in this world. The Daiquiri Ice that I have grown up with has gone the way of New Coke.

Probably the worst disaster in marketing history.

Here is what we are left with:

Lime Daiquiri Ice: Created in 2007, we blend lime ice with a splash of rum flavoring for a refreshing delight

More like a refreshing piece of poo. Why would you tamper with perfection? Blasphemy. A travesty. This will not stand.

I don't know what my actions will be at this point. Does anyone know the CEO's phone number? Apparently, Baskin Robbins is under the same umbrella as Togo's and Dunkin Donuts.

I think that is your first problem right there. Put down the 6" turkey and avocado and return Daiquiri Ice to its rightful place on the throne of all ice cream flavors.

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A quick p.s. -

After a thorough and painstaking research project I have found this:

My husband's favorite Baskin-Robbins item is the Daiquiri Ice. Unfortunately, the last time we were there, we learned that the recipe had changed. It is now LIME Daiquiri ice, and has a LOT more lime flavor, and is WAY too tart. The recipe below is pretty close to the original Daiquiri Ice. It is a very refreshing dessert for a hot summer day.Hope whoever reads this tries it and enjoys it.

HOME CLONE VERSION OF BASKIN-ROBBINS DAIQUIRI ICE(this is NOT Lime Daiquiri Ice)

• 2 cups water
• 1 cup sugar
• Juice of 1 lime
• 1 tsp imitation rum extract
• 1 tsp citric acid powder – you may need to go to a health food store or online for this, but it is a necessary ingredient
• 1 drop green food coloring.

Heat sugar and water just until sugar melts. Remove from heat and add citric acid. Stir until dissolved. Let mixture cool until lukewarm, then add rum extract, lime juice and food coloring. Refrigerate until chilled. Churn in an ice cream machine for 25 minutes. Spoon ice into freezer-safe bowl, and move to the freezer for an hour before serving.

Note: The recipe only makes a little over 2 cups, so you may want to double the ingredients.

MSG URL: http://www.recipelink.com/msgid/1427264

The Ultimate Christmas Gift

For those of you still searching for the perfect gift, you can now stop. Just go to http://www.joe-college.com/catalog/. Normally, I would never endorse a site that caters to University of Kansas fans, but there is an exception to every rule.

Joe-College.com specializes in t-shirts that celebrate KU, and take shots at all rivals of the Jayhawks. Currently, they have a plethora of shirts that mock Missouri's less than desirable Cotton Bowl game.

But here is the shirt that should be at the top of any Christmas wish list:

Operators are standing by

Please hold your venom-filled e-mails and comments. Save them. I have no use for them. This shirt is way above average because of this man:

A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch, and a sensible dinner. It's that simple.

Fatter than Mark Mangino. He is the head football coach for the Kansas Jayhawks. It is beyond me that a university president would hire him as the front man for an athletic program. I expect to see him have a heart-attack on the sideline every game.

But the big boy can coach. The Jayhawks are 11-1 and in the Orange Bowl. Perhaps other coaches should hit KFC early and often.

We sent this shirt to our good pal Kelly in Phoenix. She is a proud KU grad, and now a member of the Fighting Manginos. Enjoy!

Congrats to the Franklins

We received the great news that our good freinds, Adam and Kate Franklin, have given birth to their second daughter. Emmi Jane Franklin was born early yesterday monring.

The happy family

At just under 7 lbs, she really is a little bundle of joy. We hope to meet her tomorrow!

Emmi Jane

I think she is going to be another heartbreaker, just like her big sister, Kyle. Now that there are two eligible Franklin girls, the odds of Cade landing a good woman have increased.

Kyle Franklin: Big Sister and Bumble Bee.

Hooray for the Franklins! We are so happy for you.

13 Miles and Runnin'

In the immortal words of Jenny Curran, "Run, Forrest! Run!"

Those look like comfortable shoes

That is what 3,286 of my closest friends and I did on Saturday during the 2007 Southern California Half Marathon in Irvine, CA. And surprisingly enough, I lived to tell the tale.

Luckily, the weather cooperated. On the previous day, it rained heavily (for OC standards). And it was a cold rain. But by Saturday, the skies cleared. And while the day started on the chilly side (it was 47 degrees as I drove to the race), the sun came out and it was quite pleasant.

Yes, I did a little training before hand. Yes, I had a little pasta the night before. But the most important preparation for the race came in the form of Body Glide.

The best $5.99 I have ever spent

This stuff works as advertised. No chafing. I say with no embarrassment that chafing was one of my biggest fears. I did not want to pull an Andy from The Office.

Andy is wearing the yellow jersey

As I predicted in the 12/6/07 post, the 4-1 method was key. Run four minutes, followed by walking one minute. After the first 3/4 mile was spent dodging and weaving through the masses, I was able to get into the groove of 4-1. I had the iPod on the "Upbeat Country Mix." Everything was moving along nicely. Nicely, until I felt a little prick in my left calf around the six mile mark. A cramp. Lovely. Although concerned, I was able to work through it. A little extra water/powerade, a bit of "goo" (a type of liquefied power bar substance), and some bananas along the route helped me soldier on.

As we zig-zagged through the city of Irvine, an unexpected foe reared its head. The Marachan factory. You know, Marachan. Top Ramen. As we passed by it, the air reeked.

I don't care how clutch you were in college

It smelled like sewer mixed in with a dairy farm. I thought I was at the Stockyards in St. Joseph, MO. It was a bit of a shock to the system to hit this stench in the middle of Irvine.

The race had electronic timers and mile counters along its route. I noticed I was keeping a solid 10 minute mile pace. This made me happy. Once I hit the eleven mile mark, I felt I was home free. Not even a minor blister on my left heel would slow me down. As I pounded out the final two miles, I switched the iPod to a little DJ Quik. Irvine was now "Jus' Like Compton."

DJ Quik = victory

I officially finished the race in 2 hours, 15 minutes and 9 seconds. But, this is a bit skewed because I didn't actually start the race for two minutes because of the huge crowd at the start. I had to slowly walk to the starting line. So, in actuality, the time is more like 2 hours, 13 minutes.

If you would like to confirm the fact that I actually finished the race, click on the link.http://http://www.schalfmarathon.com/Portals/14/New2007SCHalfMarathon.pdf

For the rest of the day, my legs felt fine, but I was just tired. But I did feel queasy. Kind of nauseous. I never threw up, but my stomach just didn't feel right. I ate some decent Mexican food at Javier's at the Spectrum later in the day, but I still felt a little off. I went to bed early. Way early. Try 6:00 pm. After about 12 hours of sleep, I was ready to face Sunday. Too bad the Chiefs weren't.

I hit the training trails again today. We had the usual SRLA run today after school. To the kids credit, they were right there again. I am so impressed by these guys and girls. In fact, two of the students played in basketball games later Saturday afternoon. That is crazy. I was thinking today's run would be a nice, easy jog after the half marathon. No. It was a five mile clip. My legs were dead. I felt like I needed the hip replacement. But I persevered. I needed to get the kinks out.

Next up, the Orange County Half Marathon on January 6, 2008. It should be good. The race starts at Fashion Island in Newport Beach, and ends at the Spectrum in Irvine.

We will see how it goes. It is all leading up to the LA Marathon in March.

Photo Shoot

Due to the fact this post is dated December 9, 2007, you can surmise that I survived the half marathon yesterday. More on that tomorrow.

Today will be dedicated to last weekend's photo shoot. The plan was for the Engelken crew to be photographed at The Spectrum by uncle [b]. The subsequent photo would be placed on the ol' Christmas Card. Easier said than done.

Cade does not like photo shoots. He is no one's monkey boy. He will not hold a pose. And when we are in a fun place like the Spectrum, he is on add overload. Cade just zips from one place to the next. He loves automatic doors, and he knows exactly where Nordstrom's handicap entrance is. He makes a beeline for the little blue button that opens the door.

This thing needs to be stopped

Of course, the line for Santa is a mile long when we arrive. That eliminates the obligatory "Santa Photo Op." To work with Caden's zig-zag approach to outdoor malls, [b] simply walked in front of Cade, and took pictures unassumingly. The technique can be described as the Steve Nash Method. He was snapping the pictures behind the back, no look style.

Nash going behind the back

Taking pictures this way enabled Cade to be photographed without the burden of him having to pose. The result of the Nash Method was this:

I call it the James Dean shot, because it reminds me of this famous image:

Call me sacrilegious, but the background of Cade at The Spectrum reminds of a street scene from the NYC. And before you start to think Cade is getting way too big, know this: the hands-in-pockets trick came about because we were attempting to keep him from sticking his hands in his diaper. There you go.

We actually won't use the James Dean shot for the Christmas Card. Ironically, the one we will use was taken about 120 seconds into the photo shoot. The remaining 1,499 pictures [b] took went on the cutting room floor. I am refraining from posting the Christmas Card shot so people tremble with anticipation.

And if you don't get a Christmas Card, well............. you should not have been on my naughty list.

Running Man

On Saturday, December 8th, I will be running in the Southern California Half Marathon. Yes, that was not a misprint. Half Marathon. Thirteen miles.

I have joined up with the Students Run LA program at my school. SRLA helps middle and high school students to be able to complete the Los Angeles Marathon. That's right. Kids running 26.2 miles. And it is my goal to join them.

Last year, 3,300 students ran the marathon. 90% of them finished. I like these odds. If thirteen year olds are finishing the marathon, then a former D-1 athlete like myself can finish, right? Right? Maybe.....? Li'l help, here.

The mission of Students Run L.A. is to challenge at-risk secondary students to experience the benefits of goal-setting, character development, adult mentoring and improved health by providing them with a truly life-changing experience: The training for and completion of The City of Los Angeles Marathon. At VdMMS, we open up the club to any student interested. It is not limited to "at-risk" students. There was a student on my special education caseload who finished last year. It was amazing to think that my sixth grade student was able to complete a full marathon. I stated I would treat her and her cousin (who also ran) to lunch if they finished. Sure enough, Taco Bell was on me. I figure 26.2 miles was worth a couple bean burritos with no onions.



For me, Saturday will be a big test. The run is in Irvine. I have not run thirteen miles in my life. In fact, I subscribed to Val Kilmer's way of thinking in Real Genius. When asked if he still runs, Chris Knight (Kilmer) responds: "Only when chased."

But, so far, so good. I am progressing nicely for the March marathon. We have run 7.5 miles as a group in our training runs after school. I have also mixed in a ten mile run on my own. So I have that going for me. Which is nice.

The key will be the 4 to 1 technique. Run for four minutes, then walk for one minute. It really keeps you fresh, and allows to keep a solid pace for longer runs. The run in Irvine should be fairly flat, which is welcomed. There are some pretty large hills around Vista del Mar MS, so we train on tough terrain. I am not a big fan of hills. It will be nice that the longest run of my life will be flat. One thing not working in favor is the weather. It should be wet and cold on Saturday. That is no bueno.

Check back on Sunday to see if I am still alive. My guess is that I will be posting from bed.

Best Game Ever

Scrabble is great. Cranium is great. But there is an even gooder game on the market:

Loaded Questions.

This is the most fun you can have with a board game. The laughs come early and often when you play this game. Straight comedy. The more politically incorrect, the better the game.

We came across this game the night before Thanksgiving. Sue and Steve Holcomb (shout out to Olathe, KS) brought it with them to Missouri for the holiday weekend. Excellent call. We had a great time playing it, and April purchased at The Target today.

The gist of the game is a question is read, and you have to answer it. The questions are pretty open ended, and leave a ton of room for interpretation. The person whose turn it is attempts to guess which player wrote each response. A sample question would be, "What would you not do for a million dollars?" I personally try to be funny and sophomoric in my answers.

We broke out the game tonight. The contestants were April, myself, Chris [b]ecker, and Jessica Claire. The game occurred after a nice little dinner party thing at our house. I am happy that April's parents and grandmother left before the start. It got a bit scatological, to say the least. But, great googly-moogly, it was fun. I laughed so hard there were tears in my eyes. Really. FCC regulations prohibit me from posting actual responses from our game.

Although this won't fit in a stocking, I recommend Loaded Questions as a stuffer. Better yet, get this before your holiday gatherings start. It is a sure-fire hit for friends and families.