Tuesday, December 18, 2007

A Travesty

Baskin Robbins and I go way back. When I was just a wee lad in St. Joseph, MO, my family would go to the Baskin Robbins on Frederick Blvd. After Little League games, after church, or on a hot summer night, Baskin Robbins was the perfect treat.

My favorite flavor was Daiquiri Ice. From day one, this pale blue sherbet concoction was what I ordered. While my sister went with the Mint Chocolate Chip, I stayed with the Daiquiri Ice. Through my adulthood, I never wavered from the D.I.

Sometimes it was difficult to find. Baskin Robbins would put my flavor on hiatus, calling it a "seasonal flavor." Whatever. It would soon enough creep back into the 31 flavor rotation.

That is until tonight. My wife wants a little yogurt. She is a Golden Spoon junkie (and five months pregnant). They are having their annual $3.99 quart sale. So, for the second time in three nights, I head over to the Golden Spoon.

A tasty treat, no doubt

After picking up the quart of 1/3 Chocolate, 1/3 Peanut Butter, and 1/3 Heath Bar, I decided to make my own dessert stop. The pit stop is made at the RSM Baskin Robbins (it's totally empty, save the one employee talking on the phone). I ask, "Do you have Daiquiri Ice?"

"Yes," the guy replied.

"Sweet sauce. I need a quart." If April is getting a quart of yogurt, then I am getting a quart of the best ice cream on the planet, dammit. He puts it into the carton, and I am off.

I get home. I do the ice cream dance for Caden. He is now excited for some ice cream. There is no apparent problem with the fact that it is the middle of December and it is raining out. We start the "Cream! Cream! Cream!" chant. All is right with the world.

Now here is where The Travesty part of the story kicks in. I take the first bite of my Daiquiri Ice. It is wrong. It is not the right flavor. It tastes almost soapy to me. Something is amiss. I look at the color. It is a pale green. It is not a pale blue. I hear Leo Getz in my head.


You know what they do at the drive-thru

I have lime sherbet. The Baskin Robbins guy is wicked retarded. I specifically asked for Daiquiri Ice. He gave me lime sherbet. I debate. It is only a five minute drive back to the store. I get in the car (but before I left, I scooped a smidge more for Cade. He apparently likes Lime Sherbet).

I return. Same empty store. Same guy on the phone. I say, "You gave me Lime Sherbet."

He replies, "Yes. Lime Daiquiri Ice."

It is then I realize the apocalypse is upon us. Baskin Robbins has changed the one holy thing in this world. The Daiquiri Ice that I have grown up with has gone the way of New Coke.

Probably the worst disaster in marketing history.

Here is what we are left with:

Lime Daiquiri Ice: Created in 2007, we blend lime ice with a splash of rum flavoring for a refreshing delight
More like a refreshing piece of poo. Why would you tamper with perfection? Blasphemy. A travesty. This will not stand.
I don't know what my actions will be at this point. Does anyone know the CEO's phone number? Apparently, Baskin Robbins is under the same umbrella as Togo's and Dunkin Donuts.
I think that is your first problem right there. Put down the 6" turkey and avocado and return Daiquiri Ice to its rightful place on the throne of all ice cream flavors.
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A quick p.s. -
After a thorough and painstaking research project I have found this:
My husband's favorite Baskin-Robbins item is the Daiquiri Ice. Unfortunately, the last time we were there, we learned that the recipe had changed. It is now LIME Daiquiri ice, and has a LOT more lime flavor, and is WAY too tart. The recipe below is pretty close to the original Daiquiri Ice. It is a very refreshing dessert for a hot summer day.Hope whoever reads this tries it and enjoys it.

HOME CLONE VERSION OF BASKIN-ROBBINS DAIQUIRI ICE(this is NOT Lime Daiquiri Ice)
  • 2 cups water
  • 1 cup sugar
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 1 tsp imitation rum extract
  • 1 tsp citric acid powder – you may need to go to a health food store or online for this, but it is a necessary ingredient
  • 1 drop green food coloring.

Heat sugar and water just until sugar melts. Remove from heat and add citric acid. Stir until dissolved. Let mixture cool until lukewarm, then add rum extract, lime juice and food coloring. Refrigerate until chilled. Churn in an ice cream machine for 25 minutes. Spoon ice into freezer-safe bowl, and move to the freezer for an hour before serving.

Note: The recipe only makes a little over 2 cups, so you may want to double the ingredients.

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