I let Danny take the car to work this morning. We may or may not get more snow/ice/questionable precipitation, and I didn't feel like dealing with Memphis drivers in weather again.
There are days when I think God moved us to Memphis so that when we moved to Washington, the Washington drivers wouldn't seem so bad. Because as erratic as Washington Drivers are, Memphis drivers are a whole other brand of nuts.
Why? Well...
1.) Memphis drivers don't like to signal. I believe the thingy to the left of the steering wheel is colloquially referred to around here as a "sissy stick."
2.) Memphis drivers don't like to stay in their own lanes. Lanes, oftentimes, are merely suggestions. (Mind you, this can apply for both white and yellow lines from time to time).
3.) Memphis drivers don't like to check their mirrors or look over their shoulder before changing lanes. Often this is lanes, multiple, because hopping over two-three lanes gives them great joy.
4.) Especially at 70-90+ miles per hour.
5.) Also disconcerting, Memphis drivers get lonely. This is why they like to drive in blind spots. Now, it's a driving phenomenon that when one driver passes another, he'll unconsciously match the speed to mimic the car he's passing before accelerating past. Memphis drivers just happen to be more prone to this. Which is why it's reeeeally important around here to check before shifting lanes, because more often than not, there's someone right there, just hanging,
6.) Even if it's snowing.
7.) Or icy.
8.) Which is why you can get pretty twitchy on the roads.
Also:
9.) Memphis drivers tend to view using headlights as optional in the rain or snow. Or, not infrequently, at night.
10.) The slow lanes are actually in the middle of the freeway, rather than the right. This makes merging a blast.
Lastly:
11.) We watched as a police officer spent five minute trying to parallel park his Dodge Charger downtown.
12.) Danny stopped laughing eventually.
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